I have pics.

And boobs.

Wade with boobs > real Wade.

OH SNAP

At this one store called Millennium in this supermall I live sort of near (and I mean that loosely), they are selling King Leonidas' costume ("official 300 gear")--his helmut, the cape, the leg armour, I think his sword, and his fucking leather briefs.

I wish I could have picked it up. :D:D

Would have been SWEET. And then I'd have to go find a matching leather bra. :D

Time to fucking dance like you're trying to get a few bucks, and dance to your favourite songs.

Fuck, sing along, pretend you're on a huge fucking stage, thousands (seemingly millions) of people screaming your name, the ones who paid $100 or so on Ticketmaster just to see you sweat and sing. To see you swivel your hips at that one provocative line in that one song you remember writing, or thinking about, when the world was your oyster, and nothing could bring you down.

If it was my perfect world, I'd run outside and sing and dance my heart out, the world not hearing me scream at 1:24 about satellites in the sky or an assassin being born or that no one knows, or to go with the flow, or that the entire world sings and sways with you, in perfect harmony, in tune with your feelings, your sorrow, your elation.

When you read this, find that song that makes you want to get on your roof and sing till your lungs explode and dance till you break your back, and think about doing just that.

Find your inner rock star.

I think real life is once again starting to burrow itself into my subconscious. I've been looking up some of the key parts of my dream, which I'll post underneath.

~~~

Alright, so from what I can recall, I was in the back garden with my older brother. We were painting roses different colours with the knife spreaders that I use at work for spreading stuff onto sandwiches. I was getting frustrated because he was doing all of the ones I was just moving on to, and so I was getting furious. My mum was preferring him to do it, and that just set me off.
I was slashing my left arm with the serrated edge of the spreader, leaving cuts on both sides of my arm. I was crying and I remember I ran off the property, and around some of the houses that are being built in my neighbourhood.

Later on, I'm walking around this street I live close to. It's raining and it's dark, and I'm really jonesing for a slurpee at this one place I get them. I walk up, and I see that the corner store has been turned into a Warhammer/collectable store, which I seem really disheartened about. I start crying and feeling utterly hopeless. IRL, the store's been sold to this couple from this awesome guy who was running it.

I wander around more, and that's where memory fails me.

~~~

Garden: To see a flower garden in your dream, represents tranquility, comfort, love and domestic bliss. You need to be nurturing.

Rose: To see roses blooming in your dream, signifies faithfulness in love and the arrival of a much joyous occasion. Roses also symbolize love, passion, femininity, and romance, particularly if they are red roses. If you see a white rose, then it symbolizes virginity, pureness, and secrecy. It you see a yellow rose, then it refers to infidelity or jealousy. (I can only remember painting them blue, orange, and purple)

Blue: Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. The presence of this color in your dream, may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind.
Depending on the context of your dream, the color blue may also be a metaphor of "being blue" and feeling sad.

Purple: Purple is indicative of devotion, healing abilities, loving, kindness, and compassion. It is also the color of royalty, high rank, and dignity.

Orange: Orange denotes friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests.

Knife: To dream that you are carrying a knife, signifies anger, aggression and/or separation. There may be something in your life that you need to cut out and get rid of. Alternatively, the knife may be symbolic of something divisive in your life. You may be attempting to cut ties or sever some relationship.
To see a dull knife in your dream, denotes that your hard work is accompanied by little or no gain. (Spreaders are dull as shit).
To dream that you are wounded by a knife, is symbolic of masculine or animalistic aggression.

Left arm: To dream that your arm has been injured, signifies your inability to care for yourself or your helplessness in reaching out to others. You may have been feeling limited and restricted in terms of your freedom or activities...your left arm signifies your supportive or nurturing nature and is associated with feminine qualities.

Cut: To dream that you are cutting yourself, indicates that you are experiencing some overwhelming turmoil or problems in your waking life. You are trying to disconnect yourself from the unbearable pain you are experiencing.

Depression: To feel depressed in your dream, foretells of the coming of bad news.

Despair: To dream that you are in despair, signifies that you will have many hardships and experience much cruelties in the working world.

Construction (as in new houses): To see construction in your dream, signifies a new surge of energy, ambition and renewed confidence. It may also represent the rebuilding of your own life.

Night: To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. There are some issues in your life that you are facing that are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head before coming back to it. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth and new beginnings

Rain: To dream that you get wet from the rain, signifies that you will soon be cleansed from your troubles and problems. Rain also symbolizes fertility and renewal.

Closed (as in the store): To dream that the store is closed, indicates your inability to consider other alternatives and other viewpoints.%uFFFD You may be biased in your judgment and opinion. It also represents feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

I don't care if it's tl;dr, it needed to be done.

Hey guys.

Birthday today, fucking 20, fucking wtf now.
Went to the pub, drank like, a Cosmo, a pint of Strongbow (that my bro stole sips of, that f****t), a Jagerbomb (with my bro's gf), and a Irish car bomb (with one of my bff, and she drank half the pint of Guinness then did the chugging, hahahaha, and the waitress was like, YOU CHUG IT WTF?!?!!? and then we all laughed like it was a sitcom).

The night was awesome. i have my own bailey's, so when my lil bro comes home from work, we're doing MOAR,
MOARMOARMOAR

and I'm not working tomorrow ftw haahahahahaha my bff who had a irish car bomb with me does, and she was feeling the effects like I was. NUMB FACE FTW.

I wasn't feeling too good this evening, so I took a break from Hell's Kitchen (first season, btw) and went outside to get some fresh air, hoping that would cure what's ailing me.

I got outside, it was a lovely temperature. Just starting to cool down a bit, but still not freezing. I go out in my bare feet, and I wander around the garden that's my mum's pride and joy. Gorgeous flowers of pinks, purples, reds, and white have blossomed, and you can't look anywhere without seeing a splash of colour that always lures the birds, animals, and insects into the garden.

I walk around the grass, inspecting the flowers and their colour. I happen upon a baby pink rose and smell it, enjoying the luxurious smell that invades my nose, subtly reminding me why I love that flower above all others. A smile lights up my face, as I turn to my right to see the pale yellow sky behind the darkened trees of the forest closeby to my house. I look up at the sky, dotted with white clouds and a lovely shade of blue that I can't reproduce exactly. It's like I'm watching an IMAX screen of the sky, in how clear it is.

I continue walking around, taking a look at the behemoth of a purple rhodedendron we have (we used to be able to climb in it, it was like a tree), and at some more roses. I sniffed the honeysuckle that was climbing the porch stairs, my birthday flower bringing me back memories of my summer years when I was still in elementary school, when the computer hadn't taken over my life, nor had life's miseries touched my innocent heart.

I lay down on the soft grass and looked up at the slowly darkening sky, watching birds fly over me and listening to the calla lily fountain run. I have never felt so clean nor so good like this in such a while. I don't think I've laid down on the grass in years, to be honest.

I need to go out and lie on the grass more at night.

On the grill at work. Dropped the top of the grill while I was scrubbing it, and it peeled some of my skin off.

Got a sunburn on my chest. Itches like hell.

Coke's giving me a stomachache.

Not eating enough.

So tired.

Had enough.

ETA: Omgomgomgomgomgogmgomg, I figured out how to do Sailor Moon-esque hair with the odangoes and everything.

FUCK YEAH. Don't even need the wig for Halloween. :D

...what it's like to get hit by a car. Do you kind of stay in a brief limbo of slow motion where you know you should feel pain, but it's catches up on you as soon as time catches up with reality? Or is it an instant anguish? I'm afraid to ask my dad this, seeing as he has firsthand experience...

...what it feels like to feel so tired and worn out, that you start growing gray hairs, and if all that shedded hair you seem to lose in large quantities means that you're going to go bald later on in life...

...what life would be if sleep only consisted of 3 hours of sleep, and whether it's worth sleeping if I don't know if I'm awake or dreaming when I think I'm dreaming...

...why bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people...

...can a person honestly die of a broken heart?

...is it worth working there anymore?

...have I been spending too much on myself, and not on others?

...am I just losing touch with everything, or is everything losing touch with me?

...is it really worth having a birthday party if I don't feel like having a party? My mum seems adamant that I have a party this year, I may have skipped two in the last three years--my circle of friends around here has dwindled.

...is it healthy to work, eat, sleep, compute, walk, and only those?

...why aren't hermits more socially acceptable? Sometimes the world is scary, and I don't want to know what goes on.

...why the oil companies continue to gain while everyone loses.

...why the Conservatives are trying to mimick the DMCA that the US has, and make it more cruel, and who is really behind it...

...why am I losing interest in NG?

...why am I more absorbed in celebrities than I am in my friends?

...why did I bother typing this all out?

...why does it feel so good to walk in the sunshine?

...where did my memory go? I can't remember anything anymore.

The answer to these questions is the following:

I don't know.

Do I want to know, or do I keep wondering?

Like how I don't think I've ever seen the clouds like they did this morning on my walk to work. It was gorgeous, why have I not seen it before?

Why don't I buy a camera and bring it with me?

Why don't I treat those who I care for more often?

I wonder why.

I think I need to start doing origami. I had a plan to do 1000 paper cranes ala Sadako, but I kind of fell through with that years ago. Maybe I need to start again...

You know how people have these happy places with their inner child? I think I've finally figured out where my happy place is, and can imagine it vividly, but I don't know what my inner child was like. Was she completely girly like I once was--refusing to wear jeans and only wore dresses and skirts--or was she secretly a tomboy on the inside? Did she ever feel unhappy? Did she ever go into fits of rage? Did she ever feel unloved?

I don't know if I'll ever get any answers.

ETA: I think this is the fourth time I've edited this fucking post, but I think I know what my problem is: I've barely had special time to myself in the last few weeks, and the rate I was doing it before was a shitload higher than what's been going on lately, so I think all this stress and down in the dumps tired feeling is because I HAVEN'T REALLY FAPPED. Also probably why I've had such shitty sleeping patterns lately.

Haha, amazing what you think of while sitting on the shitter.

Hurricane Jadesabitch has disappeared from the horizon, at least for now.

Awesome Canadian band, by the way. I met the singer, and he's a rad guy.

.
/* */

Jade's a big old PMSy bitch.

More at 11.

UPDATE (not 11 PM my time, but fuck, whatever): STOMACH HURTS, FEELS WEIRD. Watched Kung Pao instead of Perfect Blue--will watch Perfect Blue hopefully tomorrow.

I hope my stomach feels better by tomorrow. ;-;

Onto the weather...

Friday Night News: 10 O'Clock Edition:

Hurricane Jadesabitch continues to hurl out her cuntness as the week winds down.

In other news, she used to eat peanut butter, pickle, and lettuce sandwiches.

Now for Sports with Jason Benner:

HAha, a Vancouver Canucks first draft pick got killed. lulz ensued.

Sorry Dobio.