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JadeTheAssassin
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Age 35, Female

Mrs. DevourerJay

Vancouver

Joined on 4/5/04

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Omg haha

Posted by JadeTheAssassin - March 8th, 2009


I just remembered that I had a dream last night that I went to visit the NG office, and man, it was one fucking spiffy ass place.

It was located on the waterfront of an ocean or a large lake, and it was gorgeous. It was near a bridge (like, easy walking distance), and right near the downtown section of whatever city it was.
On second thought, I think it was somewhere around Glasgow--weirdly enough. That's the kind of feeling I'm getting right now.
Either that, or a mix of Glasgow and Vancouver.

I was visiting with family, and I dragged my dad along, as well as a few of my friends, and we went in and visited Tom. Mike and Stamper were there, as well as JohnnyUtah and probably Luis, I can't remember all who was there.

There weren't any stairs, but it was like the building was just one giant swirled, gentle ramp with offramps to different areas of the building. There was this awesome playzone (don't ask me why) that was kind of like a playplace, except people were probably skateboarding or just fucking around.

There was this nice seated area with red leather couches and a lovely window area, where you could see the city (my dream happened at night, so we got to see all these pretty city lights), and some people were just sitting in there shooting the shit--I think Tom and Mike were hanging out there. ONE OF THEM WAS GETTING HIGH! I think I saw TSStudios in there, too. ;-;

So my dad and I wandered around, finding the NG store (no joke), and I was like BUY BUY BUY BUY! So I bought a whole ton of stuff, and so did my dad after me convincing him to buy stuff.

I wish I could see the irl office and be all depressed because it wasn't as neat or something like the dream office.

Maybe someoneTOMcould hire me and so I can be a secretary/mod/coffee bitch and whatnot.

I'll work for food. And NG gear.

No joke. I'll live at the office and be a security guard so no one comes in to steal anymore game gear.

HIRE ME!


Comments

send in your resume!

And I'll attach my resignation letter where I wrote that I got something like +6 sandwich making skills and became a level 19 barista.

:3

I'd like to work there someday, But I'm aiming for a career in game design.

I'm aiming for a career to please people.

And to answer phones.

"Hello, Newgrounds.com, JadeTheAssassin speaking! How may I help you today?
...

Yes, I may be wearing a low-cut Newgrounds top, why do you ask?"

Hi, I'm Dr. Jay, i got your tests results *shuffles some papers*... well.. *ahem* you got newgrounds of the brain... treatment is hard and painful...
your dose is... party boy daily :3

I got dumbfuck on the brain.

Explains why I'm a dumbfuck. :P

Treatment is full on being curbstomped.

YAY.

i got an opening for a main position... also.. a few opening in different positions :3...
i think Doggy is available :3

Orgy with NG staff, then!

You could visit the NG office, you know, since you're a mod and all. The office is actually pretty similar to what you've described, but I don't think it's near a water front (although, it is near Philly).

I think you'd make a great secretary, as long as you wore a tank top every day. >=3

If I can afford the time off and the money, one day I will.

Unless i get hired to go work there. then BAM! I'm so outta the cafe.

you smell funny

so do you lololol

If a bunch of NGers found out you were working as a secretary at the NG offices, the phone would never stop ringing.... That's not a good thing. They'd all just want to talk to you. Like when Grand Theft Auto: Vice City came out, and someone found a real car dealership called Sunshine Autos. And then a bunch of fan boys started calling up the place non-stop, asking to speak with Tommy Vercetti.

The dealership had to change its name, all because there's a Sunshine Autos in the game.Your e-stalkers would be calling up the NG offices non-stop too.

BTW, I wouldn't punch you in the eye either. No matter how much you begged for it. ;)

I think it'd be hilarious.

"OK, OK, GET OFF THE PHONE OR I'LL BAN YOU."

You had a dream and you went shopping in it, my god you women never stop thinking about shopping do you? ;P

On the plus side, if you were a secretary/security guard and lived at the office, you'd never be late for work.

I know I have uses for a coffee wench with mad samich making skills. :3

:3

And yeah, it'd be awesome.

AND NO YOU DON'T, MR MILKMAN.

:( your dreams are hurtful T_T

roflmao

MR MILKMAN NEEDS ENERGY AND CAFFEINE TO PROVIDE ESSENTIAL HOME DELIVER SERVICES TO LONELY WIVES WHO'S HUSBANDS ARE OUT WORKING.

COFFEE WENCH CAN PROVIDE SUCH NECESSITIES .

>:(0)

Have you ever had a lonely wife try and come onto you?

That'd be fucking awesome. XD

COFFEE WENCH DOESN'T DO HOME DELIVERY LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

Why does TSStudios, that douche bag kid who was an attention whore and made up a lot, and I mean a lot of bullshit just to make people jealous get so well off with the higher up people?

To get on Tom's good side I need to break the rules and act like a moronic kid?

I wish I was able to go bother Tom. :3

Lol I had a dream too:
I went to the store and everything that i wanted was sold in vending machines right outside the front door. Including handguns. I have no idea whats up with that

That's cool.

i hate msn right now

Who doesn't. :P

No, we haven't done home delivery for a decade or so lmao.
But that would be fucking awesome and awesome fucking.

MAYBE COFFEE WENCH SHOULD BRING COFFEE TO PEOPLE'S HOUSES, THAT WAY PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO BURN THEMSELVES MAKING SAID COFFEE.

I'm not fucking bringing a fucking 3 headed espresso machine so I can do fucking home deliveries.

im off... see what i do for you... 436a... and just going to bed...
THANKS!
:P
also... it might be.... >.> not a shadow :3

And you complain about not sleeping enough. :P

If you actually get hired, peg Tom, Doggystyle.

:3

unfunfufnufnfunfunfufnf

If you worked there, I'd call you just to demand pictures of that tattoo you promised us.

"HEY JADE, WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES YOU PROMISED ME? HEY JADE, WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES YOU PROMISED ME? HEY JADE, WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES YOU PROMISED ME? HEY JADE, WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES YOU PROMISED ME? HEY JADE, WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES YOU PROMISED ME?"

Would you like to pay for my tattoo?

what did i do 2 you?

My ways have changed!

Huh?

Get a pedovan like I deliver milk in, just don't go near schools mkay? You might scare the children.

hehehehe.

COME IN MY VAN, I GOT MILK.

"I have a dream...."

of dicks

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