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JadeTheAssassin
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Age 36, Female

Mrs. DevourerJay

Vancouver

Joined on 4/5/04

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My hypothesis...

Posted by JadeTheAssassin - July 21st, 2007

I think the reason why my boobs are so big is because my boobs have, since I was 11, been absorbing the potential boobality size of my girl friends.

So instead of them being C-cups or whatever, they're in the low-A/B range, while I bask gloriously in the radiance that is 38D.

It is my destiny to covet my friends' boobs to make up for what inadequacy that occurs school-wise. Like, how most of them were on Principal's list (like, 7-8 A's per report card), while I barely miss getting that prestigious title, where at the end of the school year, while us honour roll idiots got certificates, they got certificates with GOLD STICKERS ON IT OMFGLOLWTFBBQ.

Therefore, my hypothesis, if I remember how to do it correctly from 7 years of hypothesizing, is that...

fuck.

I have bigger boobs than my friends, they're jealous.

I win.

edit: I FINALLY GOT 5 STAR ON COWBOYS FROM HELL (medium).
But buttfucking Christ, it wasn't for my band. :(

Comments

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Zombie-Genocide

umm... i'v never been a person for body parts. but i have never seen science with boobs. i really dont know what to say... just... i loled.

JadeTheAssassin

Boobs can relate to science in many ways:

i) Reproduction/child-rearing: breastfeeding and such; sexual attraction
ii) Counting: 1, 2, 2 boobs! Ah! Ah! Ah!
iii) Hormones: to make breastmilk, to make boobs bigger
iv) Aging: Boobs tend to sag when older
v) Cosmetic Surgery: Paving the road ahead with one day, making a person completely made from scratch!

I could go on, but Einstein's inviting me to try and disprove his theory of relativity. I got a good one that will guarantee to wet his pants.

Superperpel

I hope you go die in a fire.

JadeTheAssassin

Like, when I'm dead, I want a Viking funeral pyre.
Awesome.

Onett

You say this until one of your friends get breast implants. Then what do ya know, looks like your destiny has taken it's course elsewhere.

BatDan

Yeah... I had trouble with Cowboys from Hell on Medium for the longest time.

The problem is the Hammer Ons and Pull Offs are incredibly broken. They fix it for the second game.

P.S. I'll continue writing Fag Wreck scripts now.

P.P.S... BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! That's all.

yodd

Oh hey, I am on late at night again, the when I am done with friends and family is in bed.

Sorry for going a bit off topic, but thanks tons for cooperating with me, with the whole being sick thing, what you did was really helpful, and I wanted to thank you personally. Hope to pull through this and return to be a NG regular at some point.

<3, yodd.

Also, post pics of bobs.

Ronald-McDonald-LoL

Meh, I like small boobs better. Big ones are sorta wierd, I like the ones that I can hold in my hands.

UberBarista

This news post is fucking tits.

>_>

JadeTheAssassin

Tits!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

rithel

girls compare boobs??

i learnt something new today...

JadeTheAssassin

You haven't heard boob comparison until you've met my friends. @_@

ZekeySpaceyLizard

pics plz

NoNameC68

Denial is always the way to go. Also big boobs and being semi smart will do you better in life than just being smart (and ummm... not big boobeded).

I read half of one of your stories a long time ago about the test with the regular people and the murder...er. It was good. I didnt finish. I never got the time to finish it. I dont know were to find it so i can finish it = (, but i thought u should know that the part i did read was good.

JadeTheAssassin

Look under "Experiment" in the search bar, and you'll find it. :)

Sarai

Being very honest, I'd still like my 32B (or A push up tight sexy top requirement), over a D!

For one, I like sleeping face down :)

Heh, well they look good on you I'm sure! :) You get better lingerie as well. (sigh)

JadeTheAssassin

I can manage to sleep on my tummy. :D It's still comfy. ^-^

I want a push-up bra, though. Would be like.. mmm... or a corset. :D

mariobro42

If you say so ...

TurtleJuice

You can use them to get out of speeding tickets , right?

MetalDart

You must have the smartest pair of boobs if they have an entire theory around them. :O

PS: It sounds more like a good thing. I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW
PSS: Congrats on Cowboys on hell. Now try extreme. :D

JadeTheAssassin

Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure they've worked their magic and gotten me decent marks.

You know, by absorbing information. Not that perverted peeping teacher way. Ew. liekduh.

bifgis

You do win.

P.S. Guitar Hero rocks, I've almost beat it on hard mode!

Enoll

I'm trying to think of something witty to say about breasts....but it's just not working out.
:(
Also, you're better than me at guitar hero, wch makes me angry.

mariobro42

Could you use that theory to tell if any of your friends has enhanced their breasts with silicon?

Nickelback12

pics or gtfo

Spirosgod

PLZZZZZ!!!Show me your photo!!!

Monocrom

Large breasts are generally the result of genetics. Thank your mom.

Also, I could have sworn you were a DD, instead. :P

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